Thursday, April 26, 2012

Heave

jangle of anxiety
nameless knot, a’tangle
sudden thirst for the drastic
bared skin and ink, needles, hard rocks, pounding muscles, heaving flesh, yellow bruises, rushing wind, taut vocal chords strumming, hollow echoes, spraying dirt
and here within the dull bluish light
you drone—
foe, fiend, friend
the bland blabbing nonsense, lesbian
interpretations, you reduce inspiration to
some groveling textual paste
sludge to be sorted, reeking dead words
to stack
and separate
and sterilize;
outside the sunshine glimmers in absolute liquid intangibility
outside, beauty is a thing as varied and monstrous and fluctuating as
pungent and sweat-beaded
clawed up and stinging,
scuffed and scarred arching back,
as some pock-marked tooth-sweet neck
            raspberry red, hot with surging blood,
loud and discordant as
jagged breath through swollen, wet lips—
nothing is pure and simple
nothing is clean and true—
life is only worthwhile as some sticky
            half-guilty, heavy-lidded ecstasy
something to be eaten up and ravished
to throw yourself upon
with naked, shameful abandon
to grasp at with greedy fingernails
            hungry, groping limbs
shadows running slantwise all across the bared,  imperfect flesh
traversing goosebumps and pink scabs
            with trembling fingertips
nerves exposed like the dirty rafters in some split-open squat
wide open
and submerged in wet adrenaline
ferocious, determined chance
absolute surrender—
I hope to not live in the stillness of black and white lines and
immense, immaculate care
but to spend myself in some exhausted heave
to drop dead in a morbid tangle of sweet sickly memories
splayed out, vulnerable as birth
and all mixed up in the reverberating echoes
of a million ecstatic, frenzied souls
each intensely devoted to the vibration of their own shadowy selves
intensely devoted to the exploration of their inky abundance
            boundaries
and the limits of this strange, rippling sea
            of possibility and pleasure
            of dark and velvety aching
            of celestial, stinging uncertainty

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